Someone asked me the other day, "how do you and James keep it all together?" I had to laugh out loud! Although, a super sweet and, much appreciated compliment, we clearly DO NOT have it all together!

James and I met in Jr High School, many moons ago! He was a quiet, shy boy....Braces on his teeth, and always sporting a satin silver Raiders jacket to school! We had mutual friends.....

I knew him in high school, but we always hung out with totally different crowds! It wasn't until my junior and senior year that the "quiet" boy from Jr high school came out of his shell, and was very handsome.... Not to mention charming as heck but, my very prude personality was NOT going for his "lines...." We would often pass in the halls, and he'd say, "hey, when are we going to go out?"..... I'd smile and say "NEVER!'...

Sober grad night was In June of 1995, and it was everyones last chance to see each other before parting ways.... College for some, jobs or moving away... A sad night but, a proud moment for all as we had reached the end of our high school career! I was determined to make a wonderful night of it! I saw James and he asked me to dance... I politely obliged, and we had a BALL!!!! He took me into the "Casino" and won me a tiny, yellow, plastic ball! I have to say I was a little taken back by his quick witt and charm..

A few months after graduation we had been chatting on the phone for a few months... We often ran into each other at parties etc.... There was something about this boy that had me interested. After, much talking he asked me on a date, and I said YES!

He picked me up in his shiny BURGUNDY truck.. Now, mind you there were a very select few "Boyfriends" that my parents liked. My Mom loved him instantly! As I got in his truck, I noticed a very large sticker on the ceiling that read:

"Show me your tits!' Oh, good gracious, what the hell did I get myself into? Not to mention, he had a sticker on the back windshield that said "Blow me.." Sweet Jesus! James had quite the "reputation" with the ladies but, I put that aside to see myself.... Since his license plate read "ABL2PLZ" I was curious..

James says, "oh hey my sunglasses are in your visor, can you grab them for me?".... As I flipped my visor down a red rose fell in my lap... SCORE! I was casual with my smile, and said "wow, thank you..." What a sly fucker!

We went miniature golfing in Modesto.... the date was full of laughs and, for once I could be myself in front of a guy and it felt amazing! The one thing that drew me to James was his amazing smile, and his ability to make me laugh! As soon as I returned home, I called my best friend Stephanie to dish the dirt! I specifically told her, "I am going to marry him...."

Months passed by and we both dated other people... We remained friends and spoke often... He paged me all the time (as I did him), we had our own little codes... He gave me butterflies! It was a very flirty friendship for sure! We confided in each other about our girlfriend/boyfriend each had at the time, and finally after about a year and a half of that, we both knew we weren't happy, and wanted to be together... So, we broke it off with our others and that night we went out! Again, I knew, he WAS the one!

We dated for 2 years and were engaged on Valentines Day of 1999, also buying our first home.......

James and I have been married for 10 years this past May. 10 YEARS..... That's a long time.... We have been through A LOT! More then I will disclose through my blog.... I will say, things have not been easy! A marriage comes with sacrifice, patience, love, communication and, constant care! It's like a flower, you either water it or it DIES! You have to work at it everyday and, each person needs are different. As women, we want to be told how pretty we look... How amazing we are... What a great job we do at taking care of the home and kids, and for some of you, how much we are appreciated for working a full/part time job. This is a 2 way street! Men want and need to hear these things too. Sometimes, you have to drop your insecure wall down to pay these compliments, but in the end it makes for a much better relationship.... I also believe it is so important to spend quality time together with your spouse. Your marriage should come FIRST! That may irritate a few of you, and my "followers" may stop following me for this one..... But, it is true! If you and your spouse cannot make it work, then what kind of example are we setting for our children? They look to us for happiness and security and, if you don't have that in your marriage, they WILL feel it! It is they who will suffer if we cannot display a healthy environment...

I have been down that shitty road... We BOTH have, and it is normal to ask yourself, "did I make the right choice in who I married?".... I will say that I have always "loved" James, but until recently, I never knew what it felt to be "in love..." That is a whole different level. When you have kids, life gets complicated and it is easy to get caught up in schedules, deadlines, cleaning the house, folding the laundry and making sure everyone is taken care of... At the end of the day when you crawl in bed with your spouse, are those the things that make you happy? Or do you want to reach over and tell that person how much you love them? It's ALWAYS a choice, life that is, and it is up to us each day how we are going to live it. It is also up to us to sometimes let go, let your guard down and start re building something that may have crumbled, if YOU believe in it enough and, are willing to put the work in to do it~ nobody said that this thing called marriage would be easy... It isn't a fairy tale... It is a constant up keep and only in your hands to repair.. YOU have to make an effort everyday to let that person know, "you are so special and are truly appreciated" even when you are in a bitchy mood!

James, there is nobody else I'd wish to take this ride on..... I have learned so many life lessons, good and bad..... You always make me laugh, and I know how much work you have put forth to be sure your family comes first! Neither of us have been perfect, and I don't even wish to be associated with that word.... Many people thought this would NOT last. Look how we have proven them wrong. It has taken a lot of work and time to heal wounds, talk about everything and move forward. You are my best friend, and I am glad that after all these years we still have things to talk about! If you can't be friends, then what do you have left? i love you more then ever. Thank you for inspiring me to be the person I am today, and allowing me to always be myself... For those people who live in their glass houses, karma is such a bitch! The stones they have thrown I have collected in my pocket, and one day I will return them to their front porch. We may not have it "all together" but from the inside looking out, I think we are pretty damn amazing..

Take the time today to tell your spouse how much you love them, and how much you appreciate everything they do... Who know, you may get lucky tonight! (Wink wink!)

You'll never have it "all together" but it's nice to know people think so...

Until next time~